Navigating Change: When Who You Are Starts to Shift

Making space for who you’re becoming

As we move through life, it can often feel like we are dragging pieces of our identity along with us in this clunky and uncomfortable way. That old saying, “trying to fit a square peg into a round hole,” feels similar to how I hear clients describe being stuck with a part of themselves they don’t totally resonate with anymore. So, what are we supposed to do?

This is one of the areas of therapy that invites so much curiosity and self-exploration. What is this particular part of you? Is it something simple, like your evening routine or the way you spend your Sundays? Or is it something bigger, like your spiritual beliefs or your gender identity? Whatever it is, it just isn’t clicking the same way anymore, and you can’t quite figure out what has changed.

Change is something you can always count on in life and within all of those changes, both big and small, there is so much space for growth.

That growth won’t go anywhere if you don’t acknowledge that it exists.

We can’t move through the world in the same way we always have, or we would all be walking around in diapers, on liquid diets, unable to communicate. An exaggeration, I know, but I think you get the point. Growth asks us to adapt, to try things on, and sometimes to gently let go of the parts that might not fit the way they used to.

In many cases, the change itself isn’t totally the problem (think: a new job, moving to a new house, or adopting a pet). The hard part often comes when we start to move through the growing pains. Approaching challenging changes with curiosity for your own experience, a little bit of self-empathy, and by leaning into your strengths and supports can make these transitions feel more manageable.

As a psychotherapist, I see this theme come up time and time again in sessions, and it is something I really enjoy exploring with my clients. There is no rush to get to the “right” version of you, just a genuine curiosity and willingness to pause, reflect, and reassess.

So, will you keep trying to force the square peg into the round hole? Or are you feeling the pull to take that moment to pause and explore at your own pace?

If this is resonating with you, therapy can be a space to explore these questions safely, without judgment, and at the pace that works for you